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It's been over three months since Sasha was born. Wow time goes fast
I though I would just share my very own experience of being a mum of a new born baby
"Oh Mummy! You are beeeeeeautiful this morning" Mathou, Crayon D'Humour


I love the newborn stage, those cuddles, those special noises that they make, those ga goooo ge aa conversations, the smiles... THE SMILES aaaaaaah. You just want to squeeze and give a tsunami of kisses.

But man this is still a really challenging time.



What I found the hardest is the lack of consistency, there is always something that will come up and ruin the schedule that reassure's us all.
This schedule that has become the Holy Grail for every parent.

I have been thinking, perhaps if we spent less time worrying about setting a routine for our babies, and instead let them find their own consistent rhythm... life would be less overwhelming. And over the coming months (cough, years) their lives and routines will be in harmony with our own. (sounds good doesn't it).

Let's crunch the numbers shall we?
If life with a baby were an equation...in my experience...the numbers would look like this:


The first few weeks:  40% of consistence and 60% of a complete What The Heck Is Going On!!
Passing 6 weeks:  60%  consistent and 40% of WTHIGO
and so on...until you get a very laid back 90% consistent and 10%  of WTHIGO (although I have heard this all goes back to the start in the teen years)


Here are some few things that have helped my wee family to survive through the WTHIGO

  • Co sleeping and man this is sooo good!!
  • Having to organise the day:I am not a organise person AT ALL. Now without it our days would be a disaster!! Joseph needs a sleep in the morning, when I say need, he is putting himself to bed pretty much everyday (that is pretty gold, but please note that I have done nothing for it, it is all him!) Therefore mornings are pretty chilled at home. And if by miracle Sasha has also chosen to sleep at the same time- victory!- I can make a decent kind of dinner . Let’s say that 5 o’clock is the time when everyone cries, EVERYONE.
  • Using a baby carrier, Sasha just won’t stay alone, who would? this helps us to get things done. 
  • WHITE NOISE or WOMB NOISE are magic!!!! 
  • Having people helping to look after Joseph
  • Not being too hard on ourselves. There will be days (maybe a lot) where you feel that everything is falling apart, when you have a 100% of WTHIGO. In those days, despite the “experts”,  I would put something on TV and have Joseph to JUST CALM DOWN so I can breastfeed in peace!!!!!! by the way who are those experts dictating us what to do, do they even have kids??? haha!

And take time to notice and remind yourself there are rewards everyday:
the smiles, the cuddles all those moments that would become our children's childhood memories
"Children have some super powers"

And of course- I am only an expert on my own children, and not an expert on parenting..so I would love to hear from you!
What is or was really helpful for you during this season?
"Life is full of small happines" 


xx Emma
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Michal :

Following on from my blogpost How to enjoy the last two weeks of pregnancy...when you already have children! I have been attempting to tick some of the items from my pre baby bucket list.
Yesterday it was creating a playlist to labour along to.

I think you have to be in the right mood to do this! I had thought about doing a few times over the previous days and it had seemed like a chore. However when I sat down yesterday afternoon it was extremely therapeutic and fun. (Most likely aided by the fact that my outrageously wonderful friend was making my family dinner while our kids watched a movie!).

It's kind of a bizarre playlist to make, because unlike a playlist for a dinner party or car trip... upon listening I will be in various stages of hideous pain. So I have to think to myself, what would I like to listen to while moaning like an animal and re-thinking the life choices that lead me to such events?

If you glance at my playlist..the answer seems to be... beautiful music with depressing lyrics.
Ah, perfect.
Really I think that could be summed up as one of my favourite genre's of music on any given day. However I did go back and remove a couple of tracks upon rethinking.. namely Sufjan Stevens track 'Fourth of July' which repeats the lyrics "we're all gonna die".... hmmm maybe not the MOST appropriate.... however if you are in a different situation- I highly recommend this song.

So now my playlist is ready to go! Knowing myself I will love it in early stages of labour, then later on will be throwing things at the stereo (and my husband) in harrased state of unfocused rage in order to get some silence.

My playlist features artists Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, The National, Gungor, Ben Folds, The Nashville Cast (who watches this!?!?!?!? so good!!!), Ed Sheeran, Ray LaMontagne, Coldplay (the early years...of course), Iron & Wine and Elbow.

I can't wait to listen to it.


Emma:

I had playlists ready for both my son’s birth and both have been a sightly different experience. For Joseph I chose music that have been very special all through my childhood. I guess it was a way to turn a page and to tell myself “it is time to become a mum now’ eeeek! At the beginning, the music helped to distract me between contractions. I was singing along, doing some pelvic movements and was thinking to myself “okay I can handle these pains, I can do it!". Unfortunately, as things progressed and the pain was getting unbearable, I was just stunned and shocked about the whole thing, I needed a quiet time to concentrate, so we stopped the music. Because I ended up at the hospital I didn’t have time to take the playlist with me so I had no music when I was holding Joseph. For Sasha’s birth I made a new set list .
This time I wanted music that inspires me . I purposely chose a short playlist because I wanted to just listen the same songs over and over. I was in a very different place for this birth, less stunned I guess. I knew what I was going for and at the time of the last contractions the song I need thee was being played. I thought that was pretty cool! What a bliss it was to hold your baby with some inspiring music, it was like a movie scene haha.
Those songs will always carry something very special. Overall, music has helped me to feel stronger, to stay focus at some stage and to give magic to the moment. Music has this incredible capacity to enhance every stage and moment of our life. Some artist I chose: Ben Howard, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Charlie Cunningham, Tigran Hamasyan, Jose Gonzales, Bobo Stenson…


_________________________________________________________________________________

So what has been your experience with music in relation to labour and birth? Let us know your recommended songs to birth to!

x Michal and Emma
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Ways to 'enjoy' the last two weeks of pregnancy..... when you already have children!





Last night I thought I was going to go into labour.
Hallelujah! I thought, let's get this show on the road! But alas I have woken up today sans baby just a delightful sprinkle of minor cramping and a resentment that I should even have to get dressed. Boo!

I am 38 weeks pregnant. Which basically means I have reached that point in pregnancy where I have unfounded yet relentless hope that the baby might come "any day now" even though due date is still two weeks away. It's like every pregnant woman (that I have talked to) lives in an absolute place of denial that they will go full term... and don't even say the word "overdue" ... that is CLEARLY not an option.

Last night in between urging my waters to break like in the movies and googling "signs you are in early stages of labour" (it's as if I truly believe if I read in print whatever current symptoms I am experiencing.. are in fact labour!...then my body will believe me and go along with it)... anyway in between all of that I got to thinking about how once again I am wishing weeks of my life away.

I seem to fall into this trap so easily! Over and over and over again! Gah!
Why is it so hard for me to be present in the moment, in the current day, in my pregnant state- cherishing this time before life goes crazy with a newborn and two under 5 year olds, before my nipples feel like they are on fire 24/7 and my hair doesn't get brushed for a month??!

How can I retrain my mind to not only 'see' but FEEL the beauty and uniqueness of this time right now?
These last two weeks of my life I will spend pregnant.
These last two weeks of just having two daughters to say good night and good morning to (and everything in between).
These last two weeks of feeling life move inside me. Of knowing, yet not knowing at all the person about to join our family.

When it is your first pregnancy, everyone tells you to "enjoy this time now before everything changes".. first time mums to be are encouraged to put their feet up and watch tv, read books, go for lovely walks, pamper themselves, date their husbands/partners. Oh doesn't it sound blissful.
Funnily enough no one is suggesting such things to this mother of two. Good thing as well.... or someone might get hurt.
Probably the most frequent exchange is "can you nap?" to which I reply "no". Conversation over.

So... I decided in the night... today I would make a list of things that I could feel excited about doing before the baby comes. And therefore trick my brain into thinking 'oh golly gosh I hope the baby DOESN'T come today... or I wouldn't get to clean my skirting boards'.... (yeeeeah nah... I have never been one to 'nest'.. much to my mothers dismay).

But here is my list of thoughts and ideas.. of ways to spend time and things to do BEFORE baby #3 joins our family.
I thought I would share them here in case there are any other mums on their second, third or tenth time around in the same state of mild desperation as me.
I tried to google to help me cheat on this list and I couldn't find ANYTHING HELPFUL... about ways to enjoy your last weeks of pregnancy when you already have children. I'm feeling VERY neglected by the world wide web right now.


The Final Countdown

- write a letter to each of my daughters before they welcome a new sibling and tuck it away for them to receive when they are older. (I actually keep a private blog for each of the girls I will give them the link to when they turn 18.. or 21... or a random rainy day)

- make a playlist of music that I love to play either a) during labour or b) around the house when baby comes home

- have a one on one 'date' with each of my girls to chat about the upcoming changes.

- make 'birthday cards' for the new baby with the girls

- put in a bit more effort than normal to take some half decent 'bump' photos... after all after this I will be forever thin.. like model thin... people won't BELIEVE I was ever pregnant. (please read my sarcastic tone...)

- wear clothes with incredibly difficult breast access...

- clock off as soon as my husband gets home everyday ... as in IMMEDIATELY jump in the bath then watch netflix. And feel no guilt. None. Nada.

- wash hair, shave legs, generally stay in a clean, hairless state.

- Do practical things.. like make a list of important information for whoever is looking after the girls, try and catch up on the washing, sort out the girls clothes drawers and wardrobe... blah blah blah.

- go for a massage, pedicure, manicure, weekend long pampering session at these mysterious 'day spas' they speak of in movies. Reality: pick one! If you are lucky. And there is room on the credit card.

- online 'window shop' and email a variety of "push presents" you would like to receive to your spouse/partner... hey... dreams are free people, dreams are free. I imagine my husband would MOST enjoy these drip fed over the coming days.. the more extravagant the better..then I will throw in one realistic looking one.... that's right... I'm a thinker.


...... okay that's all I have for now... and clearly I was scraping the barrel by the end.



But that's a good start I think! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your ideas to add to this list! Because google doesn't care. But I do! and will add your ideas to this list.

xx Michal



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What's your story? 

I am 40 years old now, my children are 14,12 and 10 years old. We live in a small town on the swedish westcoast. Close to the forest, beaches and rocks. I love to be outdoor, running, sailing and winterbathing. And I bring my kids to many of my activities. Even though it's only one of them that likes the winterbathing. I also love music and books and I have tried to introduce my kids to that wonderful world. But the most important thing is my faith. I want my kids to have a faith in God and to rest in his love

What have your children taught you?

My children have taught me that life moves on so quickly. You have got to seize the moment. They grow up so fast.... They have taught me a lot about unconditional love, also about the way God loves me as his child. 

What is your advice for other parents/new parents?

My advice is to think about the future, when your kids are grown up. What do you NOT want to regret. it's wise to think about that now before it's too late. Now you have the perfect moment to be the parent that you will remember without regrets. (And of course, none of us is perfect).

What's on your mind?

I am thinking a lot about creating happy childhood memories for my children.

What's your favourite thing to do or place to go with your children?

I love being outdoor with my kids. We love the beach!

What is your favourite child related item all parents should rush out and buy 20 of?

I love clothes that are made to be sunproof. (Sunprotection)

What are you listening to at the moment? (music)

I am listening to all kind of pop music.
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Siu Ki Holeva Williams-Lemi- Loopy Tunes Mama of 3!

What's your story?
I am a 33 year old mother of 3 cheeky monkeys – Vaiuli (7), Massey (6) and ‘Ilaisaane (2 next week). I am of Tongan, Māori, Chinese, Tahitian descent and I’m married to a Samoan (We’re a fruit salad family) I work for the Methodist Church of NZ as the Central south island children and youth ministries coordinator and also co-run Loopy tunes preschool music groups. I play saxophone and clarinet (Which are by far the most superior of all instruments ) and love life in general!

What have your children taught you?
My kids have taught me that for some reason you are not as patient or tolerant of the ones you love as you wish you could be!!! I’ve also learnt the importance of just taking time to embrace every moment because they grow up WAY too fast!!! And lastly I’ve learnt that Poo’s, wee’s and farts are just a part of my life now!!!

What is your parenting 'mantra'?
In the words of Elsa…LET IT GO!!! The house is a mess…let it go…the kids haven’t showered in 4 days…let it go…my daughter has just ripped all our lace curtains and covered herself in crème…LET IT GO!!! There are some things you just have to be like Elsa and let it go ‘cos if you don’t you will get those grey hairs way too early and not take time to just embrace this stage of life and all the highs and lows that it brings!

What's on your mind?
Right now…I really hope my husband cooks dinner…why is my son walking around in his undies…I have a meeting tonight I haven’t even planned for…my feet are cold…I feel like hot scones…I should stop my daughter from hitting the heater with a ninja turtle sword…

What's your favourite thing to do or place to go with your children?
Well we invested in the Tram and Gondola family pass $139 unlimited rides for a year!!! The best investment especially on those days when you have no money and no energy…Jump on the gondola! You can even use them as rewards!!! The tram is awesome too as my kids LOVE Margaret mahy, imagination station and the museum which are all on the tram line!!! And bonus you get to see the Chch rebuild up close. Definitely worth investing in!

What is your favourite child related item all parents should rush out and buy 20 of?
I don’t think I’d ever buy 20 of anything…Ooooo unless it was chocolate…or wine!!! But I’d have to say join up at a toy library! They’re great – borrow the toys (For next to nothing) then give them back! And you can test out those annoying noisy toys that you’d never wanna waste your money on! My boys love getting the board games out, again a chance to try before you buy. We love the toy library also good for birthday partys – grab a few mini slides – ride on toys – mini roller coasters! WAY cheaper than chipmunks!!!

What are you listening to at the moment?
My three children playing wrestling war ninjas! (My girls is going to be a tomboy!) but music wise – Moana – I know every song now! And my favourite spotify playlists are Aaradhna-Brown girl and Ladies of Jazz!!!



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