Oh My Darling Clementine! (Part One: Here she is!)

by - Thursday, July 13, 2017


 

It was mercy at the sun that brought you into our arms
when the worrying was done, and we saw you
Now I'm looking at your face, and you're safe in our embrace
and my every coming day is for you

Oh my darling Clementine

So now all of me has changed, I will never be the same
Every birth has rearranged and grown me
You were always meant to be in this funny family
My little girls 1, 2, 3.. you complete me

Oh my darling Clementine




Hello!

Yes I am on the other side of child birth! *cue fireworks* .... *actually no... don't wake the baby*

We welcomed our BEAUTIFUL daughter Clementine Dawn Bush into the world on the 4th of July ('goodbye to my independence' day) at 7.34am.





My pregnancy had been a stressful one with some complications along the way so it was the most amazing relief and joy to receive a perfectly healthy 8.10lb baby girl into our arms. Words can't express how grateful we are.

Surprise!

We didn't know what we were having but having a third girl feels so perfect and right for our family. We couldn't be happier! Clementine means 'Mercy' and Dawn of course means 'Daybreak' and truly, her arrival felt like merciful daybreak to us! So her name is so precious.

I LOVED not knowing our baby's gender for this pregnancy. It gave me something to focus on through all of the worrying... excitement right up until the very end. I know many women like to know the gender so they can bond with their baby in the womb, but after doing it both ways I know for me the bond is no stronger from knowing. I found out with our second so it has been so great that I have got to experience both ways.

Pre Labour Holiday in Hospital

So being our third child, my husband and I didn't manage to make time to get away just the two of us before Clementine was born.
However, because I was being induced, the fates aligned and I got to spend a whole day in hospital. By myself.
No children.
Just me.
And a book.
And TV.
And delicious snacks (thanks to a fabulous friend bringing me a goody bag).
I didn't start labouring until 10ish at night. So I had a whole pain free day of mooching.
IT. WAS. BLISS.
It is seriously funny how your standards of a good time plummet remarkably after having children. I was honestly having a joy explosion most of the day that was way out of proportion for my current circumstance. It's not like I had a plush room and a gourmet menu... Just Bravo Tv and Caramilk... but you would think I was at a five star retreat.
I am actually so grateful for my new standards of what is a treat. Because it makes it so easy to be grateful. So easy to find joy. And so easy have perspective. (But only when I am alone, or just ONE person is talking to me at a time).

Sidenote- One time I walked into the Northlands Mall bathroom and caught myself having the thought (simply because I was so pregnant and it is quite spacious) "oh wow this is nice"... WHAT?!?! What is wrong with me! I think I need to get my standards up a liiiiiitle bit more than that.

Labour and birth

*Shudder*
Do you know what the really good news is about my labour and birth? IT WAS MY LAST! Can I get a 'Woop Woop'! Throw your hands up in the air party people because I never have to do that again!

I always wondered if I would ever have it, but its the most wonderful feeling to know my family is complete... we are all here. After Sadie I always felt like "I wonder who we would miss out on if we didn't try for one more" feeling. And I'm pretty sure it was a strong fear of my husband that I would have that feeling forever no matter how many children we squeezed into our 3 bedroom house.
But Hallelujah! The feeling is beautiful and I am so so grateful to know it. It's not something I take for granted.

Let's just say I did not have a fun time with this labour and birth. I laboured through the night and pushed for a long time way too early. I felt completely lost and out of control for the last couple of hours. The words "help me" were screamed... a lot. A lot. She was born posterior and I had to birth on my back because I had injured my knee falling over the weekend before (another dramatic story for another time).

But.
Here we are.
Both Clementine and I.
And the trauma is fading. (yes I am a drama queen).

Midwife and Hubby

My midwife is amazing! and wonderful! and I have had fantastic support through my pregnancy, birth and now in the weeks to follow I have been so well supported.
Midwives work so flippin ridiculously hard! I am in awe of everyone in this profession.

I also want to give props to my amazing husband.
Heavily pregnant and with impending pain before me I didn't give him enough credit... okay okay I was worse than that.. I actually told him he wasn't allowed to have any feelings until after the baby was born "Can you please just focus on me for this last week... it just needs to be about me"... sliiiight diva moment in hindsight. Felt fully justified at the time.
But I felt his relief just as intensely as mine the moment Clementine was born. And in that moment I realised just how stressful these nine months and then especially those last hours have been for him. Because while we both worried about this precious baby. I felt her move within me, and he didn't. I saw eight or so scans of her growing well, he saw half of those while he missed the others due to work. He didn't have the constant reassurance I had. And he loved this baby just as much.
I also think about while yes OF COURSE FOR SURE it is MUCH HARDER being the woman who has to carry this giant watermelon and give birth to it, watching the person you love go through it is still a stressful and emotional weight to carry.  So okay okay menfolk...you ain't half bad. I see you. I appreciate you. I especially love my one. He is the hero of our family. (after me).



There is more to this story ... Clementine is now just over a week old and it's been a hard beautiful week. But for now I'm going to go and cuddle my baby girl while simultaneously trying to meet my other two girls endless needs. Easy.

(P.s. I have the most amazing family, and family in law, and friends... I don't know HOW anyone does this without the incredible support I do.. to all my Whanau... THANK YOU SO MUCH)












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