Change is in the air

by - Monday, May 28, 2018




Hello.. remember us?

You haven't heard from us much this year. This is for lots of reasons

1. We are drowning in small children.
2. We are utterly and entirely sleep deprived.
3. We are adjusting to the knowledge and impending reality that Emma is moving back to France - so everything is about to look very different for PMB.

Change is a funny thing.

In this incredible, beautiful, mundane, painful, inspiring, lonely, defining and emotionally intense last year ... I have found myself constantly longing for change in so many ways.
I catch myself looking longingly at the future, looking lovingly at the past... wanting to be in either or both of those places but knowing that the present is so incredibly special that I don't want to miss a second.
One minute I'm pitching a huge life change to my husband- a new house, a new job, a new country. And the next minute I am so grateful for a quiet life, wanting to stay in our little house by the sea forever and never go past my front door.
I have watched lots of friends move away, chasing new adventures in places I've never been.
I see others growing beautiful bumps, children whose names we don't yet know.
I watch my children transform before my eyes - not realising how fast they are growing until I look at old photos- then nostalgia hits hard and I have to catch my breath.
I have fallen apart and been put back together so many times this past year I have lost count.
I long for change not noticing it's happening all around me, all day, every day.
And that in this time of being undone. I am being changed more than I know.

With Emma moving. It has been a big adjustment.

We have built Petite Music Box together for five years- and it became so much more than a music project.
It has gifted me a friendship in Emma that is so rich. She is a remarkable woman. France you are so lucky to have her back for a while.
It created a community of parents brought together by our mutual love of our children, and was so much more than music. We had so many good belly laughs through our facebook live sessions that brought true real honest joy into our lives. Thank you to everyone who joined us on those Friday mornings!
It has inspired the soundtrack to my childrens early years. The songs we have sung for you all have been love songs to our own children. They mean more to me than any other songs in the world. (and that is saying a LOT when you love music as much as I do).
It has introduced us to other amazing musicians across the country who are all passionately creating music for the next generation.
It has inspired endless amounts of ambition and dreaming between Emma and I- there were times where it felt like anything was possible. And maybe anything is.


Emma moving home is a wonderful wonderful thing. I am so happy for her that she will be taking her children and husband back to her country. Her family. Her culture. It is so important and it is the right time.

But...

It's sad. I am sad.

I've been asked so many times what I'm going to do now.
If I will be finding someone else to replace Emma here in Petite Music Box (Ha! Replace Emma... Impossible!)
Honestly it has been hard.
You don't realise how much of your identity is caught up in something until that thing comes to an end.
I've been 'Michal from Petite Music Box' for the entire time I have been a mum. That's my thing. It's who I am. So when it's felt like that is about to be all over it has been a bit of a process.

But it's time to figure out what this looks like going forward.

My initial reaction was to QUIT! FORGET IT! IT'S OVER! I'M JUST GOING TO DRINK WINE AND NEVER SING CHILDREN'S MUSIC EVER EVER EVER AGAIN.
Haha okay maybe not quiiiiite that dramatic.

But now that the dust has settled - things aren't looking quite so grim.

It's just looking different.

I am still Michal.

I am still a songwriter.

I am still a mum.

I am still a person.

I am still here. And who knows how this will look. But it will look like something.

Emma will be Petite Music Box in France.
and I will be Petite Music Box in New Zealand.

We have new music on it's way. And I love it!

One of our new songs is called dreamers ... and I think it may just be our theme song for the next wee while. The chorus goes like this

'I am a dreamer it's true, but you won't believe what I can do'.

Here's to change. It's never what we think it will be.... but maybe it is even better.

xxxx

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